As águias podem voar alto, mas as doninhas não são sugadas pelos motores a jacto.
Apoiem as bactérias – são a única cultura que algumas pessoas têm.
Se tudo vem ter contigo, é porque vais em contra mão.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Se estrangulares um smurf, que cor é que ele fica?
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
Pessoas que não têm travões precisam de buzinas mais ruidosas.
Never play strip poker with a nudist, they have nothing to lose.
Se não consegues ler isto… És analfabeto.
99% dos advogados dão má fama aos restantes.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A day without sunshine is like, night.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
A morte é hereditária
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.
Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted
Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
What's the speed of dark?
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